There used to be two German Canoe Association (DKV) qualification events, four races in total, for junior and under 23 international events and the national team. Usually, one event was held in Augsburg and one in Markkleeberg (Leipzig), both artificial courses. Because I started paddling comparatively late and had to catch up, there was just this one year where I stood any chance at all. It’s no use speculating if I really had a chance - at the time, I obsessivelly did a lot of maths with results lists of previous races and convinced myself I did. I don’t think I really believed it deep down.
I still absolutely loved paddling, but I didn’t enjoy races and training camps any more at the time. I put a lot of pressure on myself and I wasn’t fuelling my training properly. Looking at the photos now, I think I can see it in my face. I have always loved and I still love competition, but I think in that year and in the following years, I experienced the downside of it. When I coach younger people now, I tell them that something is wrong if they’re losing sight of the fun. Emotional well-being should receive just as much, probably even more focus than success in competitions and the amount of training someone does.
I remember that my first run was ok, but not quite fast enough, and that I wanted to improve my time in the second run, but something went wrong - I missed a gate and had to paddle back up, I think. I remember being absolutely devastated, and embarassed to get off the water. My parents and younger sisters had driven all the way to watch me race, and I had so wanted to deliver a good result and celebrate with them.